We LOL at Quillette Editor for Wash With Dog Shampoo
Will straight people ever stop possessing themselves on the Internet? Whether it’s publicly admitting their lack of sexual prowess, forcing their kids to take bean-based survival classes, or collapsing in front of their formidable girlfriends, these men can’t help but pull themselves apart. ridicule online.
The results are alternately hilarious and horrible, as we, the audience, simultaneously mock these guys and pity the women and children in their lives. The latest entry in the âstraight men don’t do wellâ inventory comes courtesy of Quillette editor Jonathan Kay, who has found he has been washing his hair with dog shampoo for several months. :
So it turns out I’ve been using dog shampoo on my hair for a few months. (I only found out when I ran out and needed to get more.) Part of it was my fault, but it doesn’t help @ArmandHammer has the word “pets” in a 4 point font. I guess it’s common pic.twitter.com/SHEADrEW7J
– Jonathan Kay (@jonkay) January 31, 2021
Kay slammed the little guy on the bottle for saying “for pets,” but Twitter users quickly called him out for ignoring the IMAGE OF A DOG on the bottle outright. Kay doubled down with this amazing leap of logic, tweeting âA lot of shampoos I’ve used in the past have images of waterfalls, or people doing the dishes, or vaporous women frolicking in pasture, or guys under waterfalls with provocative breasts tossed out, or whatever. “
“but Jon, he has a picture of a dog!”
does not mean anything. A lot of shampoos I’ve used in the past have images of waterfalls, or people cleaning dishes, or vaporous women frolicking in pasture, or dudes under waterfalls. water with provocative breasts thrown outward, or anything else
– Jonathan Kay (@jonkay) January 31, 2021
Oof magoof, where to start? First of all, if you are using soap that contains âpeople who clean the dishesâ then congratulations, you are washing your hair with Dawn. Second, I’m not sure what shampoo Kay bought, but I have never and mean NEVER seen a bottle of shampoo featuring a shirtless dude under a waterfall. Because if this shampoo existed I would use it, am I right ladies? (I’m not and never would).
Also, I am baffled by the logistics of this. If you walk into a supermarket or drugstore, the shampoo and conditioner is in their own section, away from the pet supplies (where the pet shampoo is stored). You should go out of your way to grab dog shampoo with his human shampoo in mind.
Now, an average Joe tweeting this error would be prone to jokes and teasing. But Jonathan Kay is no average joe. The publisher Quillette had previously protested against “fundamentalist identity politics”, which led to resign him as editor-in-chief of The Walrus.
Oh another straight white man who feels censored by centering marginalized voices and mourns the death of “freedom of speech” on an international platform?
Given his insufferable past, people were quick to dunk on Kay:
– John Smith (son of Harry Leslie Smith) (@Harryslaststand) January 31, 2021
I reactivated for a few hours just to remind you that this person who admitted to using dog shampoo by mistake once said that I would finally be canceled for accidentally using the wrong pronouns for someone, then him, and he alone would be my friend. Have a blessed day. https://t.co/NTyac63rZs
– Irulan, Princess Royal, trained at Bene Gesserit (@Nicole_Cliffe) January 31, 2021
yeah before that i was buying a shampoo that just had a picture of a leprechaun eating cereal on the front of the bottle. the bottle was also a box that I didn’t really get but they wouldn’t put it on the CVS shelf if it wasn’t shampoo
– mat (@Lubchansky) January 31, 2021
That all your enemies accidentally use dog shampoo pic.twitter.com/sEcpJer8Sl
– Aaron Reynolds (@aaronreynolds) January 31, 2021
I’m a little disappointed with anyone who claims a bottle of dog shampoo has a dog on it. This is precisely the kind of conventional thinking that Quillette’s heterodox voices are vowed to question. https://t.co/DaALEk3Wd5
– Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) January 31, 2021
Quilette’s minds are once again exploring dangerous ideas, like why there’s a photo of a dog on this shampoo that’s clearly for humans pic.twitter.com/NHawSh6xxW
– scholar ska (@CTWritePretty) January 31, 2021
People laugh at @jonkay today for using dog shampoo when they might set it on fire for his occasional racism, or his support for Proud Boy-friendly Andy Ngo, or his anti-feminism, or his lying races to @ ddale8, or its screeds against arousal, or its use of shampoo for dogs
– Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) January 31, 2021
Looking forward to Kay’s inevitable piece of reflection on how making fun online is a culture cancellation weapon.
(featured image: screenshot)
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